Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
