Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
