problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
