just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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