Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
