Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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