Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
