he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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