How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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