real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
