he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Randomize
