She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
