he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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