Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
