why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
