ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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