I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Randomize
