We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
