I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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