Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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