Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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