Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I think people are normalizing furries
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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