I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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