how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Randomize
