I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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