Whod you bang
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
