Just cropdusted the office
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm having to shit out rocks
Come on in and take your pants off
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