i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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