I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Apparently you make a good broom.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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