Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
