is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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