She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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