he shaved USA in his pubs
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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