I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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