do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
