You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
