do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
