he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
