Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
