I want to stick my p in your. b.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
