He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
