either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
