So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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