She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
