absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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