that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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