I'm going to jail i love you
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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