I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
