I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
