i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
