I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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