Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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