Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
