I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
