Fuck appropriateness.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
