I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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