So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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