she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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