we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
