I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
