no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
