I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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