Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
