What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
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My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
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Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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